Sunday, 30 November 2008

For Rage Against the Man-chine

Post: BDSM (the sexual equivalent of being into Renaissance faires) Part 2: The Problem with Kink

Commenter: Snowdrop Explodes
In your last post, you write "I’ll ask that you keep in mind the fact that you can’t refute an argument that is true in most cases with a single counterexample, even if it is your own personal experience."

However, here you appear to be taking your own personal experience and treating it as universal.

You write, "It might be a result of my being unlikely to respond positively to orders, but I really can’t imagine doing aught but snickering at someone handing out orders to me with the expectation that I’d get all excited by it. I realize that role-playing gets some people all hot and bothered, but that shit is lost on me."

But the expectation comes from the fact that prior to giving the orders, the person receiving the orders has communicated clearly that zie responds in that way. This is why I have heard so many stories of sexually submissive women "corrupting the vanillas" as their first BDSM experiences - that is, asking (nay, demanding!) that their vanilla boyfriend should take on a BDSM dominant role.

You have yourself done precisely what you were warning others against doing.

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